(NOTE: This isn’t the best written post, because I cried the whole time I wrote it. )
Have you ever had to deal with difficult situations in your life that you have no control over?
Have you ever had to deal with difficult situations in life that you have had no idea how to handle?
Have you ever had to deal with someone in your family, or soneone close to you being very ill and you feel helpless, because there is nothing you can do for them except be there for them and hope and pray that they get better and fully recover?
I have had to deal with them all at one point in my life, but the last one is the one I have been dealing with lately….
I found out a couple days ago, that someone close to me has Cancer. Now, before I go on with this post, let me tell you that this person is no stranger to cancer. They have had it before, and survived it, so I have no doubt that they can’t do it again, but the dreading cancer word is hard for anyone to hear anyone in their life has, especially when they are someone who means so much to you…and you have seen them go through it before. I can’t express in enough words how I have been feeling since I found out that, this person has cancer again. The first time she had cancer it was difficult enough for me to understand, and accept. And now, this time I am taking it even harder.…It’s like my whole world has been turned upside down and I am not even, the person who is fighting the cancer. But in a way I feel like I am the one fighting it except, that the feeling I have is worse then being in physical pain. The feeling that I have now after spending sometime with this person the last couple of days and seeing how much pain they are really in, is the feeling of helplessness. I know, there is nothing that I can do for this person,except pray,keep them in my thoughts, and be there for them, but I wish that I could make them feel better. I wish I could help find a cure for them. I wish that, I could help cure them. I wish that I could comfort them, I wish I could take away all their pain.But I can’t, that is up to the doctors, the multiple surgries they will have to go through, the chemotherapy sessions they are going to have to go through, and even then there are no guarantees. I can’t put in words how I truly feel right now,I wish I could switch places with them…really I do.They don’t deserve to be in this much pain. They don’t don’t deserve to suffer. Why couldn”t this have happened to me instead? Why them? Why does anyone ever have to get so ill like this? Why should anyone suffer like this? It’s not fair. I just hope that, she gets better soon and survives cancer one more time. I am very sad! *tears up*
On a lighter note: I will be reading blogs on a regular basis again soon, and will get back to reading all the ones I have in the past daily. Let me know if you read this blog and would like to be added to my blogroll!