What I ate Wednesday-FALL edition #1

First off all, I just want to say thank you to JENN for hosting WIAW! 

I  apologize for not being a good blogger these past  couples of months but, I PROMISE YOU I HAVE LEGIT REASONS for this.

Anyway, unfortantely I do not have any pictures of the  food that I ate today because, I took a bunch this week, and my phone decided not to save them:

But, here is what I ate today:

Breakfast: Overnight oats. I put lots of cinnamon in them! YUM!

Snack: Three slices  Pumpkin bread+  a cup of yogurt+ a delicious green smoothie.

Lunch: Leftover pasta

Snack: VEggies +pita bread+ hummus.

Dinner: Chicken wrap + macaroni and cheese.

Now, that I have my eats for the day out of the way i want to tell you the real reason that, I have not been blogging much lately. I have been getting the help that I truly needed. I won”t get into too much more detail about this subject, because I am not ready to share everything yet as, I am still going through treatment  but, I will tell you that I feel 110% better these days. Since, I have been going through treatment, a lot has changed in my life, and I feel like I am a new person because of it. I no longer am letting food control my life, although there are periods where I have bad days still, and must remind myself to listen to my body when it comes towhat I eat, not my ED voice.Being in treatment has taught me  many good things about not only myself, my health, but also about life in general.I believe, that I have a much better life now that, i am going through treatment, and will continue live a great life after it is over.

My neighbor went to the FARMERS MARKET THIS WEEKEND AND BROUGHT ME BACK FOUR BAGS FULL OF GOODIES  from there!!!! I AM SO EXCITED!!!! What are some good ways to use fall veggies like Kale, corn, squash, pumpkin etc? Igf, you have any good recipes or ideas on what to do with them let me know!

Feeling insecure about your Body image

 I know this is something I have talked about before, but this week, particularly the last few days, I have been feeling very insecure about my body image. There are multiple reasons for this, and a lot of them have to do with the way people,specifically my close friends and family have been talking to me lately. I have gotten multiple, texts, phone calls, and emails from these people who are concerned about me. I know, they all have good intentions by bringing this up to me and they don’t mean any harm by it, they are just really concerned about me , but lately I have been feeling like they are attacking me. Sad smile

 

So, my question for everyone is: How do you deal with people who always have negative things to say about your body image, or who are just negative toward you all the time? Do you stand up for yourself? Do you just ignore them and walk away? What are your thoughts on this? I ask, because right now all I have done is walk away and then later on start feeling bad about what they said to me, and take it very personally. Should I have a different approach to dealing with their negative comments?

Dealing with difficult situations…and feeling helpless

(NOTE: This isn’t the best written post, because I cried the whole time I wrote it. )

Have you ever had to deal with difficult situations in your life that you have no control over?

Have you ever had to deal with difficult situations in life that you have had no idea how to handle?

Have you ever had to deal with someone in your family, or soneone close to you being very ill and you feel helpless, because there is nothing you can do for them except be there for them and hope and pray that they get better and fully recover?

I have had to deal with them all at one point in my life, but the last one is the one I have been dealing with lately…. Sad smile

I found out a couple days ago, that someone close to me has Cancer. Sad smile Now, before I go on with this post, let me tell you that this person is no stranger to cancer.  They have had it before, and survived it, so I have no doubt that they can’t do it again, Smile  but the dreading cancer word is hard for anyone to hear  anyone in their life has, especially  when they are someone who means so much to you…and you have seen them go through it before. I can’t express in enough words how I have been feeling since I found out that, this person has cancer again. The first time she had cancer it was difficult enough for me to understand, and accept. And now, this time I am taking it even harder.Sad smile…It’s like my whole world has been turned upside down and I am not even, the person who is fighting the cancer.  But in a way I feel like I am the one fighting it except, that the feeling I have is worse then being in physical pain. Sad smile The feeling that I have now after spending sometime with this person the last couple of days and seeing how much pain they are really in, is the feeling of helplessness.Sad smile I know, there is nothing that I can do for this person,except pray,keep them in my thoughts, and  be there for them, but I wish that I could make them feel better. I wish I could help find a cure for them. I wish that, I could help cure them. I wish that I could comfort them, I wish I could take away all their pain.But I can’t, that is up to the doctors, the multiple surgries they will have to go through, the chemotherapy sessions they are going to have to go through, and even then there are no guarantees. I can’t put in words how I truly feel right now,I wish I could switch places with them…really I do.They don’t deserve to be in this much pain. Sad smile They don’t don’t deserve to suffer. Sad smile Why couldn”t this have happened to me instead?  Sad smile Why them? Sad smile Why does anyone ever have to get so ill like this? Sad smile Why should anyone suffer like this? It’s  not fair. I just hope that, she gets better soon and survives cancer one more time. I am very sad! *tears up* Sad smile

On a lighter note: I will be reading blogs on a regular basis again soon, and will get back to reading all the ones I have in the past daily. Let me know if you read this blog and would like to be added to my blogroll! Smile

My fear of dating guys

I have a confession to make…Yes, thats right. I said I have a fear of dating guys.Ever since, I dating the last guy I was with (who got me pregnant!) I have had this fear.There are several reasons that I am afraid to date another guy. The biggest reason is because I am afraid of getting hurt another guy. So, many guys in the past  twelve or so years have broken my heart, and honestly, I am tired of it. I feel like I am a good person and don’t deserve to ever have my heart broken, especially by some guy who doesn’t take enough time to get to know me. To me, if you go out on one date with someone and then decide to dump them, you are not judging them by the person who they truly are. Let’s face it, can you really get to know a person by going out with them one time? I don’t think so. If, you think that you can them you are crazy…and judging them by the person you think they are on the outside not the person they are on the inside. I am hoping that someday I can find someone that truly loves me for the person that I am on the inside, and not the person I appear to be on the outside. My looks may not be that great, but I will tell you that I am a compassionate, kind hearted person on the inside, that would never hurt anyone. EVER. No matter what. I hope someday, somebody see this in me.